This video is pretty self-explanatory, and I guess it shows the idiocy of clinging to our pet theologies a little too tightly.  Props to Ben Witherington for pointing this gem out.

Disclaimer:  This language may be somewhat offensive, but be assured this is a real sermon and not a joke.

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67 Comments(+Add)

1   nator    http://whydowenatorblogspot.com
March 11th, 2008 at 5:46 pm

I posted this about a week ago and it is still hilarious! The KJV is God’s book! Not only holding on to a vesion that has been proven to have flaws, but reading so much into the text, (I thought ODM’s didn’t do that) to say that everyone he doesn’t agree with must pee sitting down. I find that uncomfortable (sitting down I mean).

2   Tim Reed, Owosso MI    http://churchvoices.com
March 11th, 2008 at 5:52 pm

Still funny.

3   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
March 11th, 2008 at 5:54 pm

Germany? Look how far they’ve strayed from Luther!

4   Jerry Hillyer    http://www.dangoldfinch.wordpress.com
March 11th, 2008 at 7:23 pm

I have to be honest, I don’t really get it. I think this is a joke of some sort. This has to be some sort of satire or something.

5   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
March 11th, 2008 at 7:30 pm

Jerry – I feel sorry for you guys who’ve never been a part of an independent baptist church. That was no joke, my preacher used to say “This sermon is like army chow, you hold your plate out and I dump on it what I’ve cooked and if you don’t like it you need it, if you like it you want more!!!”

Ah, the old days…

6   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
March 11th, 2008 at 7:32 pm

Oh – And he said for every mad face he sees while preaching it adds ten minutes to the message, and if he gets any negative notes during the week he will preach the same sermon next Sunday.

No joke, Jerry, we were in nirvana!

7   Scotty    http://scottysplace-scotty.blogspot.com/
March 11th, 2008 at 7:45 pm

Hmmmm..And I had always thought it was just becuase one was too lazy to lift the seat!

8   Joe Martino    http://joemartino.name
March 11th, 2008 at 7:58 pm

Phil, I’m hurt. This has been on my blog. Nice to know you’re a loyal reader. :)

9   Joe C    http://www.joe4gzus.blogspot.com
March 11th, 2008 at 8:12 pm

“That’s where we’re heading in this country my friend…” “we got a bunch of pastors who pee sitting down…” “pastors who pee sitting down” “we got the president of the united states who probably pees sitting down” “…and [peeing standing up] that’s what being a man is all about…”

“Its because the editors of the NIV pee sitting down…”

“well, I’m not going to pee sitting down!”

Those are my favorites.

Thanks for the comic relief…

Joe

10   Phil Miller    http://veritasfellowship.blogspot.com
March 11th, 2008 at 8:30 pm

Joe M.,
Um…yeah…I’ve been meaning to talk to you about that. You see I’ve been warned about your blog by some very discerning man from GRTS….

I’m very susceptible to anonymous protests I guess… :-)

11   Keith    http://fivepts.blogspot.com
March 11th, 2008 at 9:22 pm

“This language may be somewhat offensive…” Nah. Not around here. Not if you’re a “real man.”

12   E.G.    
March 11th, 2008 at 10:23 pm

Wow. Just… wow.

You may be interested in this fellow’s church’s website:

http://www.faithfulwordbaptist.org/index.html

The statement of faith is worth a look. At least they aren’t Calvinists (joking!!!), and there’s this little ditty:

“We oppose worldliness, modernism, formalism, and liberalism.”

They must be postmodern then! Obviously emergent types…

13   Scott    http://www.verumserum.com
March 11th, 2008 at 10:35 pm

That sermon got me so charged up, I just pulled out all three of the toilets in my house and installed urinals. Too bad if my wife and daughter don’t like ‘em! I’m gonna stand and be counted as a MUI (Man of Upright Urination)!

14   Tim Reed, Owosso MI    http://churchvoices.com
March 11th, 2008 at 11:18 pm

“This language may be somewhat offensive…” Nah. Not around here. Not if you’re a “real man.”

A Johnny Mac devotee with a trivial hobby horse? Shocking.

15   Evan Hurst    
March 12th, 2008 at 2:08 am

i’m such a man, i poop standing up!

what a moron.

travels all week and leaves his wife to raise their 4200 children alone. they don’t believe in doctors…

these people are a true exercise in stupidity.

16   Ian    http://www.lostintheheartofsomewhere.blogspot.com
March 12th, 2008 at 5:39 am

Wow – that made me so happy – my wife came into my office to see why I was laughing rather than working. Wonderful – that is why I am glad I am an Anglican. He he he he.

17   Jeff from Sterling Heights, MI    
March 12th, 2008 at 6:23 am

So if I have a medical issue that requires me to sit then that makes me part of the problem of america? hmmmmmmm

Those guys back in KJV days got the bible right, which version though wasn’t there like 11 revisions. I guess it is the only one the God let pass through the fire of preachers(real men) like this guy.

18   Jeff from Sterling Heights, MI    
March 12th, 2008 at 6:34 am

Wait, what if I pee while I am sitting down doing my other business?????should I do the other then stand up to pee? very important issue here, God put it in the bible so we need to make sure we get this right.

19   Keith    http://fivepts.blogspot.com
March 12th, 2008 at 8:03 am

Tim: I guess I missed the ref to JM…oh, wait. I wasn’t LOOKING for it! My mistake.

20   Tim Reed, Owosso MI    
March 12th, 2008 at 8:33 am

Forest and trees, friend, forest and trees.

21   shammah ben agee    http://endtheapostasy.blogspot.com
March 12th, 2008 at 9:15 am

1. This video has been on the net for quite some time.
2. Your criticism of odm blogs i.e. searching the internet for any little tidbit to use against the emerging types etc is now invalid.
3.nator made a comment linking odms to this ifb moron and no one here bothered to address it. So much for guilt by association. As a matter of fact nator carries it to a new level as he is the one doing the associating. At least the odm blogs use actual examples of the post modern dorks standing on a platform with one another, in unity.
4. I love to see males who need their wives to defend them, trying to act like men.
5. I believe that all of you still wet the bed.

22   Tim Reed, Owosso MI    http://churchvoices.com
March 12th, 2008 at 9:28 am

2. Your criticism of odm blogs i.e. searching the internet for any little tidbit

Typical ODM attitude. The “you do it too” defense is justification to do whatever you want.

nator made a comment linking odms to this ifb moron and no one here bothered to address it. So much for guilt by association. As a matter of fact nator carries it to a new level as he is the one doing the associating. At least the odm blogs use actual examples of the post modern dorks standing on a platform with one another, in unity.

Nator is a commenter, which is a distinct difference from a writer. Often things in comments aren’t addressed for a variety of reasons. If you’re going to hold blogs responsible for comments then I suggest you start with A Little LEaven who had bunches of comments on one thread that was making stuff up about XXXChurch (claiming they were actually active users of porn, and were trying to get kids interested in it). That goes beyond associating, and straight into lies.

Also, ODMs attribute to E/Es, PDL, and RCCs all kinds of things that aren’t directly related to them. This doesn’t come from commenters, it is placed directly on their sites by their writers.

23   nc    
March 12th, 2008 at 9:39 am

I’m not offended by the video’s language. If you’re offended by it, then it’s not about biblical standards, it’s about the fact that language changes and sensibilities about language change over time. Thus “dynamic equivalence” is ok to some people if it “sanitizes” the text for their sub-cultural preferences….

um….can you say: “contextualization”?

The real point is that that dude goes off and uses the text to assert his view of how culture should absolutely be aligned with his particular sub-culture.

Personally, I enjoy peeing sitting down from time to time…there’s a day coming when I probably won’t be able to and I like the moment to rest. But if a wall catcher is the first thing I see, I go there…

The real question is:
Does any of this really matter?
It’s just funny…

Some of you take yourselves and the silliness of others waaaaaaay to seriously.

Bed wetting? Really? I just laughed so hard, I got a dirty look from someone nearby….

24   Evan Hurst    
March 12th, 2008 at 9:41 am

5. I believe that all of you still wet the bed

real men sleep standing up, like livestock! crazy…

4. I love to see males who need their wives to defend them, trying to act like men.

strong women are only jealous of men who can pee standing up, but choose padded seating instead!

good morning.

25   Keith    http://fivepts.blogspot.com
March 12th, 2008 at 9:46 am

But if the tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it… 8^)>

26   Evan Hurst    
March 12th, 2008 at 9:52 am

then the tree must be European?

27   Jerry Hillyer    http://www.dangoldfinch.wordpress.com
March 12th, 2008 at 9:56 am

So, I’m still a bit confused, I guess I’ll say this to Rick since he answered, is this a joke or not? I think the guy just liked using salty language and jsutifying it.

Oh, and what does this have to do with the Gospel? I really don’t see the connection between the text and that application. Is this the sort of sermon that will lead someone to Jesus Christ, teach them about Justification, Propitiation, Sanctification, etc.? What was the context of this message since this was an excerpt.

I think I’m missing the humor and I’m not trying to be difficult.

Help me Rick. PS–what’s this got to do with a Baptist Church? Man, I’m really lost here.

thanks,
jerry

28   Tim Reed, Owosso MI    http://churchvoices.com
March 12th, 2008 at 9:59 am

But if the tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it… 8^)>

And if it hits a mime, does anyone care?

My regards to Gary Larson.

29   Joe Martino    http://joemartino.name
March 12th, 2008 at 10:12 am

Jerry,
This sermon is real. Go to the man’s YouTube page and then to his church’s page.

30   Evan Hurst    
March 12th, 2008 at 10:38 am

ah, Forest Mimes…

i caught a Forest Mime once, but my Mom made me get rid of it because “it’s cruel to keep Mimes in captivity.”

31   Phil Miller    http://veritasfellowship.blogspot.com
March 12th, 2008 at 10:47 am

I’m surprised no one’s commented on what to me is one of the funniest things in the video – the fact that this dude seems to think that the chapter and verse numbering of the Bible is somehow inspired and meaningful in and of itself. I mean seriously, he must believe that the God himself inserted the numbers thousands of years after the original writing.

32   Tim Reed, Owosso MI    http://churchvoices.com
March 12th, 2008 at 10:49 am

Phil,
I thought that was funny at first, but considering the KJV came around over 1,000 years after the manuscripts and he thinks those are inspired, I just chalked it all up together.

33   Ian    http://www.lostintheheartofsomewhere.blogspot.com
March 12th, 2008 at 11:00 am

At least we know what his toilet habits whilst in Germany are. I can sleep better just knowing that.

34   Phil Miller    http://veritasfellowship.blogspot.com
March 12th, 2008 at 11:08 am

shammah,
I think you to unwind a bit. I actually didn’t go searching anywhere for this. I just stumbled upon it (and I was late to the party it seems) on BWIII’s blog, and I thought it was funny, so I posted it here. I’m not trying to make a statement against anyone at all, other than maybe the guy in the video. If you can’t see the idiocy in this “sermon”, than perhaps you need to do a little more Bible study instead of spreading ad hominem attacks.

35   Evan Hurst    
March 12th, 2008 at 11:16 am

i just want to know what’s going through his mind while he’s peeing standing up in Germany…

i mean, obviously he’s not involuntarily counting like so many of us do.

i’m guessing it’s some kind of running self-pep-talk like “yeah, look at you, Pastor! you’re a man! you don’t have to do what Angela Merkel says! big man. take that, nelly European pee-sitters!”

and then he’s done and forgets what he was so mad about in the first place. until he finishes his next round of Yoo-Hoos and the righteous anger starts all over again.

36   nator    http://whydowenator.blogspot.com
March 12th, 2008 at 11:20 am

Ben,

ODM
ODM
ODM
ODM

The energizer bunny. They keep going, and going and …

37   iggy    http://wordofmouthministries.blogspot.com/
March 12th, 2008 at 12:27 pm

1. This video has been on the net for quite some time.

Yep, but it is still funny!

2. Your criticism of odm blogs i.e. searching the internet for any little tidbit to use against the emerging types etc is now invalid.

Tell that to my search engine and to Tim and to me and to… man talk about being naive… have you read anything some of these ODM’s dig up? It is either years old or out of context or totally misunderstood. I have one blog totally just against me! (Hmmm it is by a “ben” also…)

3.nator made a comment linking odms to this ifb moron and no one here bothered to address it. So much for guilt by association. As a matter of fact nator carries it to a new level as he is the one doing the associating. At least the odm blogs use actual examples of the post modern dorks standing on a platform with one another, in unity.

The fact is on some levels the IFB is much freer in their understanding of “Grace” and a few other things… I think that nator and myself sometimes uses GBA jokingly in hopes that some will see it as just as stupid as you see it hear. I see it all the time from ODM’s and NO ONE ADDRESSES IT!!!! LOL!

4. I love to see males who need their wives to defend them, trying to act like men.

NO, I think it is loving wives being loving wives… sometime to good and sometimes to bad. But, even “Paula” and “Ingrid” are wives and rant on and on… so where are their husbands? Sitting down somewhere?

5. I believe that all of you still wet the bed.

Maybe some do! And what of it other than the lack of compassion you show by being so insensitive against bed wetters! Who are you attacking next… the blacks? Come to think about it, I do not know of one single black ODM… but they seem to attack “black” pastors at times… so… is there an underlying racism there? Just thinking out loud not accusing… LOL!

iggy

38   shammah ben agee    http://endtheapostasy.blogspot.com
March 12th, 2008 at 1:45 pm

ah iggy out from under your rock?
I am pointing out that the same methods you criticize, are the same that you use.
It is obvious that nator bought in the term odm without any foundation. No one here confronts it as it fits your agenda.
Tim Reed made it clear that the .info administrators only speak to specific commenters. It would seem that he means only those who disagree with .info polemic.
Now onto your sophomoric tactics.
How did race get into this conversation? I show no lack of compassion for bedwetters, other than insulting them by comparing them to you.
Tim utilizes the strawman he attacks, and you create a new one all together. Truly you are a broken record. (Errrr sorry cd, this is the post modern world you know.)
It is evident that this blog is a ghost town with virtually no readership. It is also evident that boredom leads to childsplay.

39   Evan Hurst    
March 12th, 2008 at 2:04 pm

ha ha i didn’t realize Iggy had mentioned race, so i assumed this person was offended that i had referred to Yoo-Hoo, rather than a beverage that comes in many colours, like Diet Snapple.

40   iggy    http://wordofmouthministries.blogspot.com/
March 12th, 2008 at 2:07 pm

“ben”

Yawn… yep I am bored… but have lot’s to do instead of dealing with your child’s play..

iggy

41   sandy    
March 12th, 2008 at 2:16 pm

I don’t know how to break this, but under his scripture memory section on the web page, it mentions REPEATING verses of scripture up to 100 times! Mystic!!!

42   nator    http://whydowenator.blogspot.com
March 12th, 2008 at 2:23 pm

Besides, I can mention ODM anytime I want to! You can’t stop me. (unless you block my post and then I can’t do anything about it0

43   iggy    http://wordofmouthministries.blogspot.com/
March 12th, 2008 at 3:05 pm

I show no lack of compassion for bedwetters, other than insulting them by comparing them to you.

com�pas�sion �� (km-pshn) KEY �

NOUN:

Deep awareness of the suffering of another coupled with the wish to relieve it. See Synonyms at pity.

So you make my point that you lack compassion… you also lack Grace…

iggy

44   Neil    
March 12th, 2008 at 3:36 pm

I’m surprised no one’s commented on what to me is one of the funniest things in the video – the fact that this dude seems to think that the chapter and verse numbering of the Bible is somehow inspired and meaningful in and of itself. I mean seriously, he must believe that the God himself inserted the numbers thousands of years after the original writing.

I missed this when I listened to it – so’s I don’t have to listen again… what did he say?

Neil

45   Phil Miller    http://veritasfellowship.blogspot.com
March 12th, 2008 at 3:43 pm

Neil,
It was when he was talking about how numbers mean different things in Scripture. He then spouted off chapter and verse numbers to prove his point – I think he said 5 was the number of death, and he said something like “like in Genesis 5:5. Genesis 5:5 talks about the death of Adam, but doesn’t mention anything about the number 5.

46   Neil    
March 12th, 2008 at 3:49 pm

I am pointing out that the same methods you criticize, are the same that you use.

No one here confronts it as it fits your agenda.

Link

Both these accusations are false. We have confronted comments as well as each other as posters.

Your accusation of GBA is also false and therefore your whole argument of our guilt is moot. You pointed out “…but reading so much into the text, (I thought ODM’s didn’t do that) to say that everyone he doesn’t agree with must pee sitting down.” as GBA – It is not.

It is a comparison, a pointing out of a resemblance of tactics, but no guilt was associated to any ODM based on what the KJVer said.

Neil

47   Jimmy    http://www.relevantchristian.com
March 12th, 2008 at 6:36 pm

OMG….what possible spiritual good did this sermon do anyone?

That is freaking hilarious….kind of reminds me of a church I visited once. :)

48   Evan Hurst    
March 12th, 2008 at 7:06 pm

Well, Jimmy, see, there was a time in that man’s church when people didn’t think about God the entire time they were in the bathroom. Just like Europeans, all of whom are obviously godless heathen bastard muppet people.

The genius of this man comes in his ability to see a sign written in German instructing him to pop a squat, and be able to equate that sign with all of the evils of the world, up to AND INCLUDING certain naughty Bible translators.

I dunno. I think it was YouTube time at the adult daycare, and they decided to play “church.”

49   Tim Reed, Owosso MI    http://churchvoices.com
March 12th, 2008 at 7:55 pm

Anyone catch his rant about Newspring? Tell me that doesn’t sound like an ODM.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=S99oKuZrxcI

50   Joe Martino    http://joemartino.name
March 12th, 2008 at 8:53 pm

I love the first 10 seconds where he goes, “You’re not gonna like this but you haven’t liked the sermon to this point, so what do I care?” and then when he goes off on the whole numerology thing…that kills me too.

51   nc    
March 12th, 2008 at 10:35 pm

“You do it too-u! You do it too-u!” (In a sing-songy playground voice)….

So tired.

It’s like the Fox News philosophy: If we repeat a claim enough times people will hopefully believe it.

52   Evan Hurst    
March 12th, 2008 at 10:45 pm

hehehe.

touche.

or, “if we make something our slogan (Fair’n'balanced), then people will be too stupid to realize that everything we do is the absolute antithesis of our slogan. silly ‘tarded Americans!”

(of course, the philosophy totally works.)

53   Brendt    http://csaproductions.com/blog/
March 13th, 2008 at 6:58 am

You guys are all missing the point (and so did this preacher).

Talk of toilets and urinals is totally bogus and non-Biblical. The passage clearly references “he that p*sseth against the wall“. Why is this guy talking about going into bathrooms? There are walls all over the place!

What do you mean “indecent exposure”, officer? I’m just trying to be Biblical here. This is clearly persecution!!

54   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
March 13th, 2008 at 7:00 am

At the feeding of the five thousand were there any walls? So men just went on the ground. What sissies!

55   nc    
March 13th, 2008 at 10:41 am

In FACT, Brendt, if we hold to the regulative principle:

The use of toilets is completely un-biblical! If you use one then it has to be a large communal room with a bunch of holes cut in the benches along the wall.

56   iggy    http://wordofmouthministries.blogspot.com/
March 13th, 2008 at 11:23 am

Personally each of the verses are about those who will die…so I think that the point is that if a man pisseth against the wall God is more likely to smite him!

Talk about point missed!

iggy

57   Evan Hurst    
March 13th, 2008 at 11:30 am

Therefore, pop a squat, boys, God is watching!

58   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
March 13th, 2008 at 6:28 pm

I will mark this on this thread and one day you will see it happen. The Clintons are holding the secret weapon. Barak’s pastor is an abrasive racist who curses s*** on the pulpit and spews unbelieveable unchristian venum. And he HATES America. Go to you tube and see where Barak goes to church. He makes the guy in Phil’s video look like a peace maker!

59   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
March 13th, 2008 at 7:15 pm

I’ll make it easy for all you politcal hounds!

OK, for those political enthusiasts out there, I will attempt to further enlighten you as to how easily we can be deceived. Barak Obama has belonged to the same church for TWENTY years and his pastor’s name is Jeremiah Wright. He is a hate filled racist that hates white people, hates America, and preaches that Jesus was a black man who was oppressed by rich white men.

Below is the You Tube site with some of his messages, but I warn you, he curses from the pulpit (i.e. sh**) so guard your heart and do not let racism enter into it. Ask yourself this question, “How could Barak sit under him for 20 years and not agree with him? And why hasn’t this come out more forcefully in the press? The Clinton’s will leak this a week before the Democratic Convention and watch the fireworks. I am stocking up on popcorn that week because it promises to be a great spectacle.

Oh well, I thought I might further burst your political bubble. All is vanity and vexation of spirit!

http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=Jeremiah+Wright&search_type=

60   Evan Hurst    
March 13th, 2008 at 7:39 pm

Rick, Rick, Rick.

if this was a “secret” weapon, Clinton wouldn’t be desperately attacking him all over the place with her lies. as it is, she continues to spiral down into baseless negativity, because she knows on some level she has no chance of winning legally. morons like Hannity keep trying to make this an issue, but it doesn’t fly because it’s actually nothing. it’s his church. big deal.

Hannity’s question about replacing “black” values and “black” community with the word “white” was kind of stupid, too. lots of churches minister to specific communities. Dutch, Korean, Chinese, black, etc. doesn’t mean they don’t welcome others just the same. in fact, i’ve read/seen lots of accounts from white people that go to church there, and they all talk about how much they love it, and how welcoming it is.

this is all a bunch of nothing. in the Hannity YouTube video, the only thing i see is Wright making Hannity look like a moron. yes, it’s a predominantly black church, but, living in Memphis, which is 65% majority black, i can see that their message is pretty typical – they serve the needs of the community where they are.

what’s funny is that lots of white people go to that church because it’s such a great church.

the denomination isn’t historically black either. one of my churches is UCC, and it’s quite diverse.

as to the question of how Obama could be under this man for 20 years and not agree with him – well, i’ve had lots of pastors in my life, and i summarily disagree with most of them on most things.

this is just a tired way to go after Obama because he actually represents a break from the systems that have brought us to the bleak moment in American history where we find ourselves.

the people who spread this crap around are the real racists.

in case people don’t believe me, this is one of the top debunked stories on Snopes right now.

http://www.snopes.com/politics/obama/church.asp

61   Evan Hurst    
March 13th, 2008 at 8:08 pm

while we’re YouTubing, here’s a 3 minute video of a white member, a UCC minister herself, talking about what Trinity is REALLY like.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ioaChVw_pUw

62   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
March 14th, 2008 at 4:08 pm

Now, in fairness, Sen. Obama has written an article on the Huffington Post condemning Wright’s comments and saying they angered and pained him. He futher said that those views were in stark contrast to his own and that Obama never heard those statements that are being played.

So Evan, Obama himself condemned Wright’s words, he did not attempt to defend them. I will take Obama at his word and to his credit he did the correct thing. Even when someone you like/love says things that are unbiblical we must have enough character to denounce them regardless of the source.

I admire him for doing right.

63   Evan Hurst    
March 14th, 2008 at 4:59 pm

i like the way he characterized him as a beloved uncle who sometimes says crazy things.

from that perspective, it’s like “oh, yeah, i get it.”

what’s weird is the free pass McCain is getting re: Hagee and Rod Parsley, who have said equally repugnant things throughout their careers.

64   Rick Frueh    http://judahslion.blogspot.com/
March 14th, 2008 at 5:19 pm

Politics and religion – poison!

65   robbymac    http://www.robbymac.org
March 14th, 2008 at 11:12 pm

How close to the wall do we have to pee to ensure that we’re truly “real men”?

66   Evan Hurst    
March 14th, 2008 at 11:31 pm

oh, the closer you get, your manliness actually DECLINES, due to the fact that you’re not proving anything by being able to hit the wall from that minuscule distance.

now, to be able to stand on a rooftop and accurately spell your name in pee on the wall of the building across the street, IN CURSIVE…

THAT is a man.

67   Evan Hurst    
March 14th, 2008 at 11:32 pm

unless you dot an ‘i’ with a heart, of course.

then, you are undoubtedly a crude, though highly skilled, woman.