let’s just not talk about it.
There was a small post on CRN about a Lifeway study on sex. Here is the first half of the entry
Lifeway helps us all again with a truly “relevant” study. Does anyone in America really think that we are suffering from a lack of information about sex?
While I don’t think the church needs to play sex therapist, it takes a very naive man to assume that the Christian world is completely educated about sexuality. I grew up in a very traditional church setting. Almost all of my peers had a child out of wedlock or are currently sexually active. To pretend we don’t have a problem on our hand would be a travesty. Here are two stats that might make us RETHINK how we talk about sex in the church.
- The United States has the highest rates of teen pregnancy and births in the western industrialized world. Teen pregnancy costs the United States at least $9 billion annually.
- Thirty-one percent of young women become pregnant at least once before they reach the age of 20 — about 750,000 a year. Eight in ten of these pregnancies are unintended and 81 percent are to unmarried teens.
The 1950 sex-ed film reels are not going to cut it anymore. So the church can A. address the issues, or B. continue to ignore it while the all out young people continue looking for love in all the wrong places.
35 Comments(+Add)
I agree totally with the post. I was a youth group helper in the church I attended in a previous city, and a good portion of the youth there were fornicating. Since I was quite young at the time, I had a reasonable rapport with them, and the same ones were either not interested in Christianity or struggling. Mostly they attended because their parents did.
good posts. I really think that the CRN post comes from the whole “sexuality is a burden” concept (which Ingrid actually said on Slice.)
I also think it’s crazy how Christians get up in arms about abortion but don’t want to address root problems at the heart of abortions.
and lastly- it’s not just young people looking for love in all the wrong places, this is an issue the church NEEDS to hear. I grew up in the church and I can’t think of ONE sermon I heard growing up about sex, and I don’t think that is uncommon.
By saying that 1950 sex education didn’t work ,are you saying 2008 education does??
UK sex education is veryyy progressive,can we say its working?
With such progressive education we had in 2006 alone 193,700 abortions,53% of conceptions now occur outside marriage,teenage pregnancy as slightly decreased to 56.7 per 1,000 in 2005 (but increased in the 12-13 age group),in a country that fits in one of your states..
Don’t read this as True Love Waits Ring are the way to go,they were ridiculous,and they could very well be responsible for many unplanned pregnacies..But i’m not sure explicit sex education works either..
In some ways i think CRN are correct,maybe not their naive puritan views about sex necessarily,but with their view on “where are all the adults”..
The relationship between teenagers and their parents in this country, is without doubt the number one reason for the situation we have in the UK..
By saying that 1950 sex education didn’t work ,are you saying 2008 education does??
UK sex education is veryyy progressive,can we say its working?
With such progressive education we had in 2006 alone 193,700 abortions,53% of conceptions now occur outside marriage,teenage pregnancy as slightly decreased to 56.7 per 1,000 in 2005 (but increased in the 12-13 age group),in a country that fits in one of your states..
Don’t read this as True Love Waits Ring are the way to go,they were ridiculous,and they could very well be responsible for many unplanned pregnacies..But i’m not sure explicit sex education works either..
In some ways i think CRN are correct,maybe not their naive puritan views about sex necessarily,but with their view on “where are all the adultsâ€..
The relationship between teenagers and their parents in this country, is without doubt the number one reason for the situation we have in the UK..
(ps i sent this through but wrote my email wrong can u deletle that one thks)
So let me get this straight. Because there is so much information out there on sex already, there is no need for the church to provide any? Has Ken not considered that perhaps it is the church’s responsibility to provide the antidote to the trash that’s out there?!
I think the reason why teens are fornicating is because a lot of their parents are fornicating. The truth is, if you look at the statistics the level of sex outside of marriage is the same in the church as out of it.
The fact is we’re a sex-drenched culture. Whether or not another Bible study will help can be debated, but I think it’s rather disingenuous of people in their 50s and 60s to complain about teens fornicating. Their generation is just reaping what they’ve sewn.
Ianmacn
Excellent point. What a compliment to pay to the “world” that anyone would deign to call the pornographic, exploitative, and abusive messages it offers “information.” Information is value-neutral. The messages about sex today offered by our society are anything but neutral.
It’s obvious, then. Ken Silva loves the world.
Ha! Just kidding. Seriously, though, in the need to attack, wisdom is almost always the victim. (The same happens around here, sadly, too.)
Minor correction. My joke should have said “Paul Walker loves the world.”
My apologies to both.
At least part of it has to be the message society sends (and the church tacitly endorses) that marriage before 25 is insane when sexual maturity sets in 8-10 years before that.
Phil’s correct, i hang around with 100% non christian friends,we all grew up together,their not interested in God their having a ballll,and think i’m the quirky one for going.
But one of them use to go to a C of E to church to get laid !! Hes like “andyyyy man they so want to get married,their do anything”
Of course not in the service,its liberal there but not that liberal
Nothing wrong with having kids when you’re young and married.
It sucks for those 18 or 19 year olds who ARE married and then get pregnant, to be included in such upsetting statistics.
Trust me, I know them. They’re not happy about it. If you’re even 20, and get pregnant, even if you’re married, it’s looked down upon in this country. That in and of itself says something.
And I won’t even get in to those who have children OUT of wedlock, and are teens, talk about getting a scarlet letter. We’re terrible, the church, is terrible to those teenagers.
“oh…she must not be a Christian….shunnnnnnnnnnnnn the unbeliever….shunnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn”
Joe
Whos saying that Joe?
I’ve seen some churches treat folks in the way Joe describes, particularly if the “troubled teen(s)” are members of the congregation, rather than visitors (believers or unbelievers).
Andy, I wasn’t talking to anyone specifically. I was more saying a general statement to everyone. You know like…
“Apples are red”
You shouldn’t assume so much =) (joke). What I wrote wasn’t a rebuttle or rebuff to anything or anyone.
Chris,
Isn’t that sad? I’ve seen that too. And with other sins also.
What happens when the Pastor’s kid turns out to be gay?
Joe
I don’t know – hopefully the same thing as if he’s a kleptomaniac, a habitual liar, an adulterer or if he sleeps around with a bunch of women…
Sadly, that probably wouldn’t be the case…
Exactly. :sigh:
I just realized….apples can be green yellow and a mix color too….
So much for that.
However, saying “apples are red” doesn’t negate that they could be another color.
Joe
No i meant who says that Joe in general not here,people in your Church?
I was always the wild one at Church (to them lol,i smoked and drunk) so maybe i didn’t hear it haha! The Calvary i go to now is pretty cool though, i’m sure it does go on i guess,but i never heard it..
aj
Back to the tread,i seriously think a lot of this is down to parents.
A friend teaches at a infant school near me (i’m in a council area) and woweeeee the language on the parents in front of their kids, i’m pretty broad minded but mannnn..Two mums were in a fight last week that ended in stitches,all in front of 5-8 year olds,one mum was sleeping with the others husband..
This teacher told me,she as a kid around 6 who’s late for school a lot, the excuse once was “mum was busy in her room with my uncle, so i dressed myself Mrs_”
she said thats pretty normal,what hope have they?
That’s very rough. Sadly though, that’s a lot of what I see too in my church. Church drama et al. I mean, what do you expect anyways right? We’re all sinners. But I don’t think we’re addressing the issues in churches well enough. We just shun someone when a sin becomes public. That’s not right. We cover it up. We hush hush about it.
Joe
But on the subject of sex,how are we going to sell a Christian lifestyle to these kids? Also how are we going to sell it when we don’t live it??
I can count on half a hand the Christian i know personally who waited till they got married,,i’m not judging ’cause i’ve been far from saintly in that department ..
It takes spreading the Gospel, being a good example, and prayer that the Holy Spirit will work in the lives of teens/people. Although no human will set a perfect example, we need to point them to God for that.
Well…I wouldn’t want to “sell” Jesus or Christian lifestyle to anyone…but I get what you’re saying Andy. Why should any teenager believe the Gospel that comes out of our mouths, if it doesn’t flow from our very lives and actions first?
I think you’re right Merry, in what you said there.
Joe
sell here just means show,example etc
Englands a lot different to what I preceive America to be,I may be wrong..We get the impression a lottttttttt of people go to church there, even teens?
If you use the term born again in England people are like uh oh nutter,so at least you have a better starting point,their at least coming to church?
One of the guys I discipled got stationed over at Mildenhall AFB last year, he’s back visiting now for a week, and he’s been telling me how utterly post Christian that country is [England]. And how such a small percentage of the population is actually Christian, or actually goes to church. He’s having a very hard time finding anyone he can meet with to disciple. So I know what you mean, it’s hard to find common ground to broach the subject of The Gospel with people, but keep trying. It’s a little easier here in the States I feel because most if not everyone has heard something about Jesus and Christians, even if it’s unfavorable.
Also, I see what you mean about “sell”. Must be a cultural thing there.
Joe
Yeah i should of said “get the message over to these kids”
England’s all over the place at the moment..
71 % say their Christian if they write on an official document..
But 66% of the population have no actual connection to any religion or church of any faith..
Between 1979 and 2005, half of all Christians stopped going to church on a Sunday..
Not the best figure huh?
Wow, Andy. I didn’t realize that about England. I guess there are quite a few more church-goers than that in America. I think something like 82% of Americans claim to be Christian . . . I don’t know how many actually go to church, but I doubt it’s anywhere near that.
Oh, and yes, you’ll see quite a few teens and kids in American churches– partly due to active youth groups and activities.
Do churches in England have youth groups or Chrisitian youth programs? If there isn’t that might be a start.
Don’t want to paint a completely bad picture.. I’m not sure if the above includes the more left of field Church’s who may be off the radar, i.e charismatic,house churches and the emergent may be moving into the gap made by the traditional churches..
For instance my old church the pastor came to Chris church recently to visit Rob,there very popular, lots of teens from collage go there..
No, you didn’t paint a completely bad picture, Andy. There’s good and bad in all countries.
England is a perfect example of a post Christian, post modern, post western society. America is almost there. But let’s not upset ourselves with changing our methods to reach this new culture
Hi i really struggle with this idea of post modern,maybe i’m missing something..
People to me seem the same as they always were..Maybe its a class thing?I’m not being sarcastic but in my neck of the wood (veryyyy working class) nothings really changed..
Nathan,
If I could tweak what you said a bit I would say that England is “Post-Christendom” not post-Christian.
I make this distinction for two reasons:
1) Post-Christendom is more accurate since “Post-Christian” implies that it was, at one time “Christian.”
2) Post-Christendom speaks of the waning influence of a cultural- Christianity, were “Post-Christian” makes it sound like the Gospel has no more power there.
Make sense?
Neil