I’ve been kind of quiet this past week. A lot is on my mind. I’ve been both challenged and convicted by some of you here.
I think it was Keith (or pastorboy) that pointed out that as believers, when we are sinned against by another believer, we are to approach the offender. However, we don’t do this repeatedly until the offender confesses. If the offender is unrepentant, we have to let it go.
A year and a half ago, my closest friend did something that hurt me very much. At first I didn’t say anything. I just let it burn inside me. Finally, I couldn’t take it anymore. I approached him. He didn’t really apologize (unless you call “I’m sorry you feel that way” an apology). I repeatedly met with him, confronting him with what he had done. At least one other Christian approached him as well. Unfortunately, our relationship has deteriorated to the point that we no longer go to the same church nor is he willing to meet with me.
So, it’s time to let go. I was sinned against and I need to forgive. In retrospect, I guess I did quite a bit of sinning against him.
Then, we had the post about tone here at CRN.info. Great thoughts and really challenging.
And on Sunday, I read this passage in James:
James 3:13-18 (ESV)
13 Who is wise and understanding among you? By his good conduct let him show his works in the meekness of wisdom. 14 But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your hearts, do not boast and be false to the truth. 15 This is not the wisdom that comes down from above, but is earthly, unspiritual, demonic. 16 For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there will be disorder and every vile practice. 17 But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, open to reason, full of mercy and good fruits, impartial and sincere. 18 And a harvest of righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace.
So, I’m a contributor here. Sometimes I think I write good articles, sometimes lame ones. But vs 17-18 really hit me hard. I really need to start applying these. Not just here on this blog. But in real life. With my friend, who will no longer speak to me. With my fiancé, as we work through planning and stressing about our wedding. With my family. With my roommate. The list appears to be endless. And yet, this is what I, as a Christian, am called to do.
photo by: http://flickr.com/photos/lpwines/
4 Comments(+Add)
Yes, it’s very hard to let go when someone has hurt you. Sometimes you don’t even get a chance to confront them. That happened to me; I was hurt very much by someone (probably the most hurt I’ve ever been in my life; to the point where I still struggle with my self-esteem sometimes), and due to certain circumstances I never saw them again.
On the flip side, though, I was the one who hurt a friend once. And due to circumstances, she had to move to the other side of the world, before I ever got a chance to apologize. That was a few years ago, and I hope I didn’t cause her too much pain . . . all I could do was pray for forgiveness and then pray for her and her life.
Good luck with your wedding!
So what does James say about us even addressing the ODM’s? Should we let them be for the sake of peace, or is purity enough of a reason to speak out?
Neil
First, Matt, great article.
Neil, I think in terms of ODM’s or Anti-ODM’s this principle is true. We can disagree civilly, we can even go to the mat believing that I am right and you are wrong and still be brothers and sisters in Christ. Ultimately, your relationship with Christ is between you and Him, despite protests to the contrary, only you and you alone know if you are saved.
I hang my hat on my responsibility as a pastor found in 1 Timothy and Titus, as well as Jude to protect my flock. I admit that I spend a lot of time keeping up with and informed of heresies of our day, which include Universalism, a wrong view of Jesus, and ecumenism that has gone from the sublime to the ridiculous in some of the syncretism that is out there. My main concern is my flock, but I believe that I have a larger responsibility to the church universal, the body of Christ, to address heresy, or even watered down belief systems that can negatively impact our faith.
That being said, I also have a responsibility to model the fruit of the Holy Spirit when doing this. I do not have the right to be mean spirited, to fill myself with the pride that says I am right, therefore I am better than you. I do not have the right to call into question your faith because we disagree on non-essentials like music, what day you worship on, or if you sit in couches instead of pews. When I see a brother in error, my motive should be love and restoration, not attack and jab. This goes both ways, however.
Which is why I struggle in my own blog, in my own walk, where the line is. And this is also where this site, as well as the ODM’s have to struggle with where they must speak up and where they must stay silent being desirous of peace in the body. I think the line is truth, found in the Word of God, is something we need to fight for. Our interpretation needs to be correct, but we can disagree, as long as the struggle leads us to truth, and we walk out as brothers and sisters at the end. We need to do all to the honor and glory of God; not for our own honor and glory.
pastor boy,
Those are great points – and you’re right, those of us in pastoral positions are ultimately responsible for, and concerned with, our respective flocks.
That’s where the issue becomes personal to/for me. Quite frankly, the corpus of our church would be able to discern the quality if rhetoric from most ODM’s and take it for what it’s worth… so that leaves me with this being more of a side-ministry (if I may use the term) disassociated from anything I could legitimately claim to be on behalf of my flock.
Call it Kingdom-at-large work, I guess.
Neil