This past weekend, I had the opportunity to travel south to Tennessee for a day to meet some old friends (well – “old” as in from my college days, even though they are just as “old” as me), and to go with them to see my son’s musical group in concert in Greeneville.  It had been twelve or thirteen years (by my recollection) since we’d last seen one another, though we’d kept up on Facebook the past couple of years.

But it was almost like walking into a time warp.

During my three semesters at Milligan, my constant companion was Craig.  We met the first day in the dorm (he was just across the hall), loved music, and shared a number of other interests as well.   We also tended to “push” each other – in some ways good, and in some ways not.  Musically, we grew together, learning how to cooperate in the setting of a band.  We got involved in a number of practical jokes, and spent a good deal of time hiking up into the mountains, into caves, and into some intentionally dangerous situations there.

But the thing I appreciated most of all was our talks together.

Once our homework was done (and sometimes even if it wasn’t), we’d sometimes talk until three or four in the morning about most any topic under the sun.  He loved the Beatles and was a russophile (illegally owning a cat named “Trotsky”, may he rest in peace).  I loved Peter Gabriel imports, movies and fireworks (with a mortar launcher that could be operated from our rooftop).  We also had a number of demons we struggled with.

While I didn’t know what it was at the time, I struggled a lot during the winter (January – March) with depression (something I’ve written about here before) and impulsivity, which don’t mix well.  Our midnight talks certainly helped me get through this, and became some of my fondest memories of my time at Milligan.

Friday, when we met in Greeneville, I had made excellent time, which gave Craig, his wife (who I also knew from Milligan) and I some time to catch up.  One of the topics we talked about was Craig’s conversion into the Eastern Orthodox church, which I found to be incredibly interesting – both because of my relative ignorance on the EOC, and because I wondered how his journey took him there.  Along the way, we discussed all sorts of things, from canonization to orthopraxy to prayer to tradition to repentance.  Even when we might have disagreed, it didn’t matter, because our purpose was communion and encouragement, much of what it used to be.

After the concert, we went back to their house (they were gracious enough to offer me a room for the night), and sat down to talk “for a bit”.  It seemed like we’d only been talking for a few minutes when I looked down and saw the time on my iPod – 3:00 am.

My first thought was: some things never change.

Which got me to thinking.  We had talked about repentance – metanoia (Gr.) or t’shuvah (Heb.) – and how it was – visually – an image of recognizing the direction you are walking, stopping, and then turning back toward God and walking toward Him.  With repentance, it is we who change, not God, and when we turn to Him, He is still the same.  Our relationship with Him is how it was before we turned away.

Something else we talked about was prayer – prayer as something far more than a laundry list of concerns and desires, but a basic building block of our relationship with our Father.  Honestly, my prayer life sucks.  My conversation with Craig, if nothing else, revealed this to me (among some other things I’m trying to right.)  I’ve got some ideas on improving, with one of the basic ones being to just start doing it, even if it feels stilted…

So as I drove back, I thought through all of the things that God might have been trying to say to me over the weekend.

Pray.

Repent.

Love.

Spend time in each other’s presence.

All things I know, but I don’t do – or at least don’t do well.

God speaks in all sorts of ways, and sometimes the most tangible way He speaks to us is through His image in our brothers and sisters.

Shalom.

You may remember last fall when I wrote a post about forgiveness. I had encountered a guy who believed it was inappropriate to forgive someone until they asked for it. In fact, he went so far as to say it was unbiblical.

Well, I ran into him again. This time we talked about asking for forgiveness when you don’t believe you did wrong.  Two specific situations came up in the discussion (there was a group of about 15 of us, which is also known as a class).

Situation 1:

A person says you did something that you did not do. They are offended. The question became is it appropriate to ask for forgiveness. Some said that we should and others said that we simply because someone is offended, that doesn’t mean that anything that was done was wrong.  The argument back was that it didn’t matter if it was wrong or not, the relationship was fractured and that was wrong. The basic gist was that asking for forgiveness doesn’t require much from the person except humility.

Situation 2:

Someone then brought up scenario #2.  What do you do if someone says you did something wrong and either it is a lie, or you believe it’s a lie. Do you ask for forgiveness in order to repair the “fractured relationship” or do you refuse to ask forgiveness, instead forcing the person to deal with the truth. At this point, the class broke into a verbal free for all with opinions raining in from all sides like confetti during a championship parade.

So what are your thoughts?

Based on the common P2P as shorthand, I offer up F2F as shorthand for “Face to Face.” This is how we should envision ourselves as we post and particularly comment – be it on this blog or any other.

This was driven home to me, recently, in a quite experiential manner. I had a discussion, in real life, with a person face to face, on a topic… a topic I had also recently engaged in on this site. “Recent” is relative, so there is no point conjecturing to which thread I refer.

What struck me in hindsight was my demeanor when arguing a theological point F2F compared to the same argument on the web. The obvious advantages aside (e.g. – body language, facial expressions, history), our F2F discussion was equally impassioned yet it lacked the common escalation I so often engage in on the web. I am not sure why this is. I suppose it is hard to become frustrated and blunt when sitting across the table from someone. I suppose it is harder to be come angry and escalate the rancor when the person’s response (which include their own anger and hurt) are readily visible. There is still something removed and anonymous when arguments are held on the web – even when they are between people who have a history F2F.

We see this all too often in our favorite ODM sites. I am convinced they label people way too eagerly, of course, but I bet (I certainly hope) that they would not be so quick and eager if they knew the person, if they bothered to conceive their point of view, if they engaged them F2F.

We are guilty of this as well. For all the ways in which we struggle to be different… for all the ways that we actually are different… for all the way I believe our approach is superior and more in the spirit of our Lord… I am guilty of saying things in such a manner as I would never dream of doing to a brother/sister in Christ F2F… We are guilty of saying things in such a manner as I would never dream of doing to a brother/sister in Christ F2F.

Maybe P2P is a good reminder: peer to peer. “Peer” – a person of the same legal status. If I do not know this is even more true of those of us in Christ, I don’t know noth’n,

This is the third and final part of this series. You can find the first two articles here and here. I would appreciate it if you left a comment about how God has transformed you.

Since you have heard about Jesus and have learned the truth that comes from him, throw off your old sinful nature and your former way of life, which is corrupted by lust and deception.  Instead, let the Spirit renew your thoughts and attitudes.  Put on your new nature, created to be like God—truly righteous and holy.

So stop telling lies. Let us tell our neighbors the truth, for we are all parts of the same body.  And “don’t sin by letting anger control you.” Don’t let the sun go down while you are still angry, for anger gives a foothold to the devil.

If you are a thief, quit stealing. Instead, use your hands for good hard work, and then give generously to others in need.  Don’t use foul or abusive language. Let everything you say be good and helpful, so that your words will be an encouragement to those who hear them.

And do not bring sorrow to God’s Holy Spirit by the way you live. Remember, he has identified you as his own, guaranteeing that you will be saved on the day of redemption.

Get rid of all bitterness, rage, anger, harsh words, and slander, as well as all types of evil behavior. Instead, be kind to each other, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, just as God through Christ has forgiven you.

Imitate God, therefore, in everything you do, because you are his dear children.  Live a life filled with love, following the example of Christ. He loved us and offered himself as a sacrifice for us, a pleasing aroma to God.  - Ephesians 4:21-5:2

When I am with close friends, I usually don’t have to filter what I am going to say or plan how to say it. Even so, the people I know the best also have sensitive issues or areas in which I choose to be more careful with what I say and how I say it. There are times when I do not behave the way I should simply because I am comfortable. I’ve hurt other people because of that. So when I am more aware of those around me and thinking less of myself, I filter my conversations and actions.

In ministry, this is something that I refer to as being “on.” Other professions and other people experience similar things. For some people, being on means that they hide their true thoughts, their real feelings, who they really are. For the past few decades this kind of attitude and approach to life has led many a hurt individual to desire and expect authenticity from others, especially leaders. But this is not what I mean when I think of being on. I make every effort to be genuine, authentic, and consistent in every area of my life all the time. I try to be the same person when I write as I am when I preach as I am when I am at home with my family. This doesn’t mean that I’m always as well behaved in private as I am in public, but that I am honest in public about my private choices, failures, and weaknesses. (I don’t do this completely as there are still parts of my life that I hide, areas that I am ashamed of.)

So what does it mean to be “on?”

Recently I was approached by an active member in the congregation that I serve who told me that they were hurt, as was a friend of theirs, by my inaction or failure to strike up a conversation with the friend. First I must say that this member approached me very well (at a good time, in the right way, and with the right attitude). I listened. I asked clarifying questions. I asked for help. I committed to working on my end toward connecting.

It means that I produce smiles when I don’t have the energy to smile, or sympathy for their situation when I just feel like wallowing in self-pity… or when I don’t feel much of anything. It means actively listening (hearing, waiting, thinking, clarifying, probing) when I just want to spew my solutions or my own ideas. Sometimes it means keeping my mouth shut altogether, especially when I want to make excuses. It means praying for others, not about them. It means confronting others instead of letting the problems work themselves out. It means talking with anybody and everybody instead of sitting in my own little introspective world.

All of this is not to show others that I am perfect, that I am somebody I am not. Not to show them that I have it all together or that I know all the answers. I do this to love others as Christ has loved me, with genuine devotion and preference in honor. I do this to help when people are in need and to be hospitable at all times. I do this to rejoice with those who rejoice and mourn with those who mourn. And when somebody comes against me, hurts me, or even hates me? I do these things so that I can be a blessing to them, do good to and for them. I do this so that I can live in peace with everyone. None of this is easy for me. I have to work at it. Very hard.

This continued hard work is draining on me. My temptation is to seek out moments when I can live unfiltered, where I can say what I want, when I want, how I want. Where I don’t have to constantly evaluate my interactions and my relationships. I am tempted, but I don’t want that. When I am able to live unfiltered, I want it to be because Christ has so transformed my life that others see Him in me. Until then, He is my filter.

Ephesians 2:4-6 (NKJV – emphasis mine) — But God, who is rich in mercy, because of His great love with which He loved us, even when we were dead in trespasses, made us alive together with Christ (by grace you have been saved), and raised us up together …

I have noted before on my blog that legalism mocks God’s grace. If we are raised in a home that doesn’t perform “worldly” externals, and all Christianity is about is not doing those “worldly” externals, then God hasn’t really saved us from much — we weren’t dead in our trespasses; we just had the sniffles.

A couple weeks ago, Neil wrote about labels, and how they can be helpful at times — and downright useless and silly at other times. The latter issue was the larger portion of his post and (although he didn’t initially identify it at the time of the writing), I was one of the people that he wrote about who had been incorrectly and unfairly labeled. (He later went back and filled readers in on who the label-ers were. ‘Twas a hop, skip, and jump from there to figure out who the label-ees were.)

Unfortunately, for any “fact-checkers” out there, the background of my incident can’t be accurately checked, as the moderators of the site on which I was labeled chose to conveniently excise large parts of the exchange in which either (a) I made a strong point or (b) they looked foolish in retrospect. But that’s not why I’m writing this, anyway …

I was attempting to answer the question “Is Francis Chan emergent?” by noting that the important question was not whether or not someone had attached a label to Chan, but whether or not what he teaches/writes is the truth. As the questioner appeared to truly be researching Chan, but coming up empty, I pointed her to a couple of book reviews and a brief (and, for me, convicting) video by Chan.

(For what extremely little it was worth, one of the book reviews included a quote from Chan that pretty much answered her irrelevant question.)

Having just made the point that the issue was truth (not labels), the very next comment — by a moderator, no less — asked me if I was emergent. Quite frankly, I was stunned at how incredibly and thoroughly he had missed my entire point. I felt like tapping the mic and asking, “Is this thing on?”

I temporarily evaded the question, as it was no more relevant for me than it was for Chan. However, after a while, it became obvious that I was never going to get that point through, even though I repeated it numerous times in different ways. So I just (metaphorically) threw up my hands and answered their question. I worked off a list of teachers/writers that one of my accusers had provided, and (I’m sure to their utter shock) largely agreed with their stances on these men.

But then I “messed up” and dragged God into the conversation (what was I thinking?):

Bottom line though: While none of those men are on my bookshelf, I do not think God incapable of using them to speak truth to me.

The responses to this statement (all of my others “disappeared”) made things abundantly clear — they were so utterly focused on these men, that they totally (dis)missed God. One can only come to the conclusion that they do think God incapable of using those men.

There was even a great, though certainly unintended, illustration of this. One of the moderators has an image in his signature line — riffing off of President Obama’s “Hope” slogan — that says “Hopeless” (complete with the same logo in the “O” as was in the original). While no fan of the president by a long shot, I have to note that this image says infinitely more about the moderator’s view of God than his view of the president.

I ran across a post on another blog today about some truly horrific people — murderers, drunkards, adulterers, pimps, prostitutes — the scum of the earth. Oddly, they’re all characters cited in Genesis, many of whom were greatly used by God. And some of them don’t even have the “good” testimonies of how they did all that bad stuff before they met God, and walked the straight and narrow ever since.

The phrase “another gospel” (riffing off Galatians 1) has been perverted in its overuse to mean “that with which we do not agree”. And, to be sure, I saw that phrase used often in the discussions surrounding Chan and others. But to claim (even indirectly) that God is incapable of using anyone requires not only the ignoring of large portions of Scripture, but an outright mockery of God’s grace and the heart of the gospel message.

That, my friends, is truly “another gospel”.

Galatians 1:9 (NKJV – emphasis mine) — As we have said before, so now I say again, if anyone preaches any other gospel to you than what you have received, let him be accursed.

Don’t blame me — I didn’t say it.

*This article is the second in a three part series. You can find the first part here: Transforming Faith.

Being a student and minister, there are times when I am required to speak or write about a subject or passage of scripture that I don’t feel particularly inspired about. This is especially difficult as my heart for others increases because I want to have tremendous passion, empathy, sympathy, conviction, creativity, etc. about the things that can and should matter in their lives. I know that all scripture is useful to the community of believers in a variety of ways, but it doesn’t always connect with me strongly (or I don’t connect with it) all the time or for every passage. In my own process of growth I have come to the understanding that those strong and loving responses come during the periods I am spending more time reading, praying, and listening and when I am spending more time with others. Despite my efforts to do both, I am experiencing what many would call a dry spell. So I asked for something to write about. Romans 12:15 was offered up and I accepted. Partly because I needed direction, partly because I love God’s Word even when I don’t feel great feelings, partly because I’m looking to regain some discipline, some passion, something, and partly because it sounded like something I might actually be able to connect to right now. It wasn’t… at first.

Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. Share with God’s people who are in need. Practice hospitality.

Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. Do not be conceited.

Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God’s wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,”says the Lord. On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him;
if he is thirsty, give him something to drink.

In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good. – Romans 12:9-21 (Emphasis mine.)

Why did I keep coming back to it?
I wrestle with God’s word to keep from wrestling with others. I actively engage the word to keep from ignoring the world around me. It is through struggling to understand, struggling to connect, struggling to apply that I find deep meaning… not just in understanding intellectually, but in understanding deep inside the heart. Understanding better who I am and how I live. Understanding better who other people are and what steps I need to take to love them the way Christ has loved me. Sometimes that means days of reflection, other times weeks. Usually it means mulling over the thoughts and convictions for months until I am able to digest and internalize the truth.

What have I learned?
I’ve always been kind of an emotionally detached person when it comes to sympathy for others. Rejoice with those who rejoice and weep with those who weep is hard work for me. That doesn’t mean I am not happy for others when they are happy, or that I am not sorry for others when they hurt. It means that for me, those responses are more intellectual than they are a feeling or emotion. I’m terrible at empathy, and sympathy is often hard work for me. The reason I know this about myself is because I really do care. I don’t care so much about whether or not a person gets what they want. In fact, I’m a little harsh when it comes to that. But I do care about the needs and growth of others and because I care about those things, I care about how my interactions and relationships with other people impacts their lives.

Questions
What causes three adults, whose job it is to look out for the well being of others, to stand around and watch as a young teenage girl is beaten, robbed, and has her head stomped on repeatedly? Their employer said that they are just there to observe and report illegal activity and that they are now revising their employee guidelines/instructions. Are we any better when somebody tells us about a problem or need and we wish them well but do not take action? Is Paul telling us to respond emotionally to the events in the lives of others? If you only act because you respond emotionally, your life will be tossed about by whomever and whatever can make those emotions surface in you. Is Paul being literal, or do you think that he wants us to take time to share in other’s lives? Wedding and funeral customs of the time period were often week long events. Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn.

How have I grown?
Come back Wednesday and read part three to see how this passage connected with me.

This is the first article in a three part series. Most of what is written below was written over a year ago as the result of a challenging and valuable Seminary class called Shaping the Heart of a Leader. I share it with you as background for the following two articles, Wrestling With the Word and Unfiltered. (Note that references to the present or recent past have been left as they were written back then.)

Listening to God
Reggie McNeal says succinctly in his book A Work of Heart, the function of the Christian leader “is to reflect God’s heart to God’s people. This cannot be done apart from a leader’s firsthand knowledge of God’s heart.” I’ve discovered that a great way to practice listening to God is to be willing to pause and reflect on what is happening right now and how it relates to your own growth. Maybe this has occurred because of a lack of structure in my own life, but I often see/hear God responding to me not when I set aside time, but when I simply set aside my own agenda. To that end, I have spent a great deal of time reflecting, listening, and figuring out what my own “agenda” (desires, wants, dreams, etc.) is. It has been said that you can’t know where you’re going if you don’t know where you’ve been. So I am going to look backward so that I can better examine my life now to open up my life to God’s work in me.

The Past Does Matter
The church I attended throughout my youth was conservative and growing. Truth and scriptural authority were highly valued. Emotions on the other hand were mostly ignored. When I was young, I was committed to church, to youth group, and to growing. I sought and was directed toward a leadership role at church in the youth group as well as in starting up a bible study at school. A couple of times as I was growing up I had encouragement to go into preaching by other Christians. The narcissistic side of me thinks that what they saw was pride, self-righteousness, and over-confidence, and those things very well could have been there, but those few comments were a big part in me going into full-time preaching.

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What are the over/under odds of attacking the messenger vs. attacking the message?

My pick: 2 comments